Monday, February 11, 2008

Dear Boss

Dear Boss,
I know that u have evaluated my performance well and im so happy about it. The longkang secretary of ours, Yati, has showed me the KPI (Key Performance Index) results when im not even supposed to know or look at it, and im wishing that the promotion mentioned before will come true. I so need the pay raise so badly and here are the things i promise..if i do get the promotion and the pay raise i wanted..
  • I promise to come to work at 8.30am sharp instead of still figuring what to wear at that hour.
  • I promise to have lunch between 1pm-2pm instead of 12pm-2.30pm.
  • I promise to not overdress to work and make u look like a junior exec & make me look like the company Director.
  • I promise to not fight about my parking claims and trouble you to force approve them when contractually im not liable for it.
  • I promise to come back to the office after meetings outside the office, eventho it ends at 2pm and not head straight back home and watch tv.
  • I promise to start my day at 9am latest (with no breakfast) and not 12pm as i do now.
  • I promise not to claim all my outings to KLCC parking to the company as i know u have no clue that i do this.
  • I promise not to blog or surf the net or chat with my best buddies on YM/MSN more then i do my work.
  • I promise not to download anymore songs on Limewire & get the whole office server spoilt from some unknown virus that i dont even know of and that u dont even know it was me who did it.
  • I promise not to lie to you about going out meetings whereas i was at some boutique openings at Pavilion and scouting on Spring Summer 08' arrivals.
  • I also promise not to watch Ugly Betty or Desperate Housewives DVD at work when u think i was bz thinking and having such weird face expression or giggling alone probably to cool of my mind of work.

With all this sacrifices, i am asking your generous self to offer me the RM1,000 increment that i ask for with 2 months bonus to cover my ever long high maintenance credit card that will take ages to settle.

With my new condo coming up soon, i also have no more credit to splurge on anything fancy at all. As u know already, im a good worker..i perform, im disciplined, & i have beauty & looks (brains comes in second) that is important for the company as i tend to get people to think we are a smart working office..its alot of work u know to get up everyday to think of what to wear daily. It requires heavy thinking. I also need to get that 32 inch LCD TV to relax my mind after hard days at work and continue on performing my task tremendously the next day at work.

Anyway, thats all i want..i shall wait for the results..i wont dissapoint you! Please appreciate all the hard work i do for the office.

Your best dressed worker,