Sunday, May 20, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Anyway..here are some of the before and after pix taken after a mild makeover by the obsessive compulsive hygiene freak..me..
The transformation of my empty room to include a high bed frame and blister causing self constructed wardrobe.
My dressing table…
My clothes halfway filled..and hopefully it all fits without wrinkling my shirts…The tv table is also used for my laptop, due to limited space left in my room..Plan to cover the table and hid the cables & chair from sight..will think of something
My small lil kitchen with the small lil fridge for both of us in the house…We think fashion merchandise (clothes, shoes, etc) are more important…then food.. =) Less food to eat, more room to fill into best sized pants & shirts..agreed? (pointing out to Aziz & Andre)
My small lil kitchen..good enuf lah..we cant afford anything more...all budget has been contributed & scattered around KLCC..from dining to shopping…
My obsession…my life…my substance abuse…for walk of confidence...hihi...I think they need more frens…don’t you?
I cant stand dirty toilet…and cleaning this tough stain took me almost an hour and gave me orgasm to see it clean…satisfied! To maintain? Every 3 days require floor brushing to keep it away from foot prints that I just cant tolerate…
I was away for nearly 3 months and look what happened?? When I got back, see the result urself…
We'll..that was all the hard work..All "Ezwan Certified" clean.. =)
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home.
Its almost 12 midnite here in
As u all know bout my plan to go back to KL, Im now facing some difficulties that I have to think of a best solution to get myself back, with dignity, respect and…according to the contract inked for me..well..thats about to change…
I've just heard from a senior at my office that people who are still under probation, are allowed to leave the company, but with one exception…the flight tix has to be solely borne by the individual to get him or her back to their origin country…no expenses borne by the company..
The flight tix from
When I came here, the company purchased a return flight ticket for me with a validity of 6 months, where I was allowed to return home according to contract. Since I decided to leave this rich country and return to my homeland of the poor due to substance abuse of designer shoes yet fantastic city earlier then expected, contractually, I was not allowed to use the flight tix to get my ass home..the company shall cancel my return home tix, eventhough it was already paid for. Maybe its some sort of punishment for leaving so soon and wasting their time..well, when there's a will…there's a way…
I planned to tender my resignation by the time I've gotten my salary for this month. i was suppose to serve a 2 weeks notice, without pay, then return back home..the thing is, I can serve the 2 weeks period, but whats in for me? Not only I don't get paid and still extend my sufferings here, the company doesn't even sponsor my flight tix back to KL…I then thought..i have to have a plan..
I've decided to fled this country, without anyone knowing..its to get myself free flight back home and not splurge my own money for the flight tix..since I have the the e-ticket with me..while chewing a cold french fries during lunch today, it suddenly struck me…I can run…!
After lunch, I called my driver. Told the office mates that I was out to site. They were quiet surprise of my sudden volunteering to run myself down to the site, since before I was always giving a bitchy face and with full annoyance that I had to drag myself in my Prada's to walk all over the construction site and gather dust on my expensive shoe. But I managed to sneak out and hit the road..
I headed straight to the Emirates office in god knows where..entered the office and my heart was pounding..thinking that if I get caught..im in deep shit..took a number and waited for my turn, feeling guilt…
Trying to calm myself down and saying to myself to make me feel better, I said "im doing the smart thing…since the stupid company wont spend a lil bit for my flight tix and get me working for free of 2 weeks, this was the right thing to do..i should outsmart them..eventhough technically its unethical...but for the love of my money which is not that much of what i have to be spent on air, it's the rite thing to do..at the moment..
Got to the counter and my tix were ready..i get to go home on the 3rd May..
"There's 2 flights Sir, flight at 11pm and 3.45am…which one u prefer?"
"Uhmm…hold on" I had to think of the best flight schedule. I had to think of a way to sneak myself out of the house while everyone's asleep..i needed time…I was using all of my brain cells to come out with an answer and removing all the wish list stored in my head to make space..so nerve recking with the guilt feeling and my palms were sweating like I was holding an ice cube..i said, "Put me in the 3.45am"..that would give me sometime.and the rest of the guys would be asleep..
"Which would u prefer to be seated? Aisle or Window" I answered "Aisle..my legs are long..i need to sit with a crossing leg" The aisle will provide sufficient space for my feet." He must have thought that was the most ridiculous excuse for an aisle seat.Leg crossing? whatever..
After tapping on his keyboard, he said to me "Sir, I cant book u a seat"…I suddenly felt blood rushing thinking that my company suddenly detect that I was getting myself out without them knowing…I said "Whats the problem?" he replied "Your name is too long, I cant get it to book the seat that u asked for"
With full annoyance and irritated feeling plus the stupidity of the answer the ticketing guy gave me, I replied "That doesn't make sense?? I cant choose a seat cos my name is too long??" The figure of my parents suddenly appeared in my head thinking will this problem happen to me forever whenever I travel coz they name me with a first, a middle and a last name?? oh my gawddd…that's silly isn't it!!!they should have just named me Harris! dont ask why..i just like the name.
I said to him "Are you for real?? Just make it short then..I want to be seated by the aisle.." he replied "No can do Sir..your name will not fit into the limited alphabet slot..we need both first and last name in it..if not, u just have to wait when u check-in later at the airport to get a seat"
Is this ridiculous or what???? How does Che' Engku Puan Sri Rozeeta travels?? Or the Duli Yang Maha Mulia Seri Paduka crap?? I suddenly realize they're all rich, royalty and seated on first class..where I am Yang Mulia XXX, royalty, deprived financially and trying to get hold of the economoney class seat…I said "Fine..I'll get the seat when I check-in"
Got my tix and now need to plan what to do next...how to fled without anyone knowing..how to run back to my beloved family and frens…how to run for "life"…
Friday, May 11, 2007
Let me make it clear, to all you party boys & socialite wannabes, QATAR is NOT the place for you to work..believe me..unless u take along the whole batallion with u, then u'll be fine..sure its a good place to make money and earn tonnes here..by working for almost 3 months is equivalent to 1 year of my salary when i was in KL! believe me..im not kidding..but which one would you go for? money or life? im not saying that life here is all pathetic, some people are just unbearable with the life here.that includes me..i miss my parties, i miss my nite life, i miss my mamak session with pals..i miss my coffee.i miss my nasi lemak..and the list goes on..
My fren syalleh who works here, married with kids and wifey back in KL,who could survive, made a statement after i decided to leave for KL and go back to work with my old company..he said "So, if you leave & couldn't take life here, and we all could, that make us all losers? Who have no life and could survive here with not much entertainment"..
Well Syalleh, there's a mistake in your statement there..dont put me as a benchmark for a happening life.for me, u'r all winners..coz all of u guys, especially those who manage to stay for almost 3 years here, could bear with all the city tension and all the crap & fun the city gave you..i on the part, am the loser, to return back KL for just after 3 months of my stay..i solute to those who stayed longer..strong independent people..Its just not the place for me..i can do Dubai..but not Qatar..
Well, maybe there's a good thing behind all this...my ex boss even e-mailed me asking how am i doing here? he said things were different when i left..his work went haywire, and to train the new unfashionable looking no eye brow plucking girls who just joined the company, was a terrible experience for him..he wanted back his old fashionista assistant who dresses better then the CEO himself and never wore the same outfit in the same month..if im willing to return..which is what i always wanted..
The HR gave me a good response..got myself promoted and earn 3 times more than what i earned previously...its the bomb! i was so excited and felt blesssed to earn that much..alhamdulillah..i also got another offer from another company when i was in KL, but my ex office manage to counter their offer..im so happy..
Well, i looked at it on the bright side..if i hadn't come to Qatar, i wouldn't have earn what my ex office HR offered me & wouldn't have gotten promoted. i would have stayed there, earn a small pay and trying to save up money for my Prada & Gucci shoes, max out my credit card & complain every month that im short of cash..but the good side was, i was always happy..i always had enuf money to eat, i have FOS to shop for my office clothes, and still shop at Prada for my leather goods..well, not all the time.mind you..
With what is waiting for me in KL, im all excited to go back home..my offer leter has been signed by the CEO and i'll be back to my old office sometime in May..where i belong..where i performed..where i was at my best..where i kick ass in what im doing!
Also, not forgetting, my loved ones that i left behind when i was away..3 months felt like 300 years here..i miss my family, Aziz, my 6 best frens, and everybody else..cant name them all..they all know who they are..
Well...the biggest loser will return back in KL soon...to Rizal, Deen, Syalleh, Rafie and the new guy i met...Azril...you've been so great to me..all the things u guys did for me..will always remain in my heart..i dont know what i could have done without you guys by myside..im truly blessed and honored to know all of you..
To the South African guy i met at Corniche whom i bumped into and had no intention to cruise around that area coz i came with my housemates to buy fish. who plans to get into my pants by sms'ing me daily trying so hard to get me laid, well, i dont think thats gonna happen..im sexless nowadays...menopause probably! im good enuf with masturbation of once a week by watching porn or trying to imagine my previous unforgettable sex, but u were kind enuf to text me daily,even tho i knew what ur intention were..
I did get to now this new malaysian guy who i find interesting & charming and lead me to further want to get to know him, but also unsure of his sexuality, well..i dunno what to say..if it happens, it happens..so many uncertainties about you, and also, u will be back in KL soon..we have all the time in the world to get to know..even with ur plans to leave for Europe..well, maybe as frens..or maybe more..i dunno..im just scared of all this r'ship thingy..time will tell..again, so many uncertainties..but i find u interesting..i have butterflies in my tummy when im with you..
For all you guys in KL, get ready..His Royal Bimboness is coming back to KL..either to color your life or to just make ur life miserable and give u shit...muahahahaha..like i bloody care?
Tick tock tock tock...
I miss my mom & dad,
I miss her food and I feel sad,
I miss both of my borthers,
I miss them askin money and bothers,
I miss my lovely gorgeous sister,
I miss jakarta trips to see her,
I miss my all my frens,
I miss the time we're all scouting on men,
I miss my coffee sessions,
I miss all the city stress & tension.
I miss my shopping spree & dine,
I miss the time my credit card got declined,
I miss my clubbing with andre,
I miss the time waking up late next day,
I miss my conversations with Aziz,
I miss the time he made fun of my fetish,
I miss my housemate maddy,
I miss screaming him to get ready,
I miss my best buddy hedy,
I miss condeming his punctuality,
I miss my time with yusri,
I miss getting him to always agree,
I miss my chats with uda,
I miss sharing gossips with one another,
I miss fun moments with mone,
I miss talking bout fashion & bank loans,
I miss my moments with blair,
I miss insulting his unfortunate looking hair,
I miss my time with shamel,
I miss his charm & witt like hell,
I miss smoking with deeba,najib & aidit,
I miss their blogs, funny jokes & gigs,
I miss my best cousin
I miss outings with her & testing our gaydar,
I miss the city, I miss the sun,
I miss everything & everyone,
Missing is painful, and to feel as such,
Without missing at all, I never thot they all meant so much…
It's been 5 days here in
Well, there are some difficult moments, such as the house that im staying in. It's a huge 8 bedroom mansion, with a kitchen bigger than the entire Frangipani, merged into one floor area. The rooms are also huge which was just too big of a space for a single tenant. Well, whatever..the worse thing is, im staying ALONE!! Its like house on a haunted hill..its spooky & scary. Bloody hell..i had to even switch on the toilet lights to make the room bit deemer instead of total darkness. God knows how spooky it is here..but thank god, another fella just moved in from KL and make his way into my house.
He's this huge built fella, dressed like one of the Harley biker boys. He's fat, bald, janggut till his tummy, wears a head scarf, sunnies on top of his head and all the bling-blings on his wrist. He also has this chain bracelet bigger than the chains used in jail cells.
He's a complete package like what u see in the movies with notorious motorbikers. I find it fascinating to encounter such person in life, and to live with. I was imagining what he was wearing, and if it was on me..hmm..imagine Rosie O'Donald with a Chanel sunnies on the head, a Hermes scarf wrapped like Erikah Badu on the head (its so in right now), a diamond bracelet from Harry Winston for the ultimate bling & sparkle, a ring as huge as a KFC nugget on a finger with hoop diamond earrings and looking all gangster like. Well, I think..
I'll end up more like Boho chic than a gangster. It was just my imagination.
Eventho he looked all intimidating and dun mess with me kinda look, he was such a sweety. The first time I talked to him was during dinner infront of the TV. I was eating my moms serunding that I refused to bring with me previously thinking that its so typical of Malaysians traveling overseas to bring such food, but it helped me big time. We talked about family n stuff, then suddenly, he broke down & cried! I was like, omigosh, whats with him? From Mr Harley to sissy Barney?
Seemed that he missed his kids so much..its was sad..i pity him..to sacrifice his family in order to earn tonnes of money and worse, to have that harley look with all those oversized chain bracelets, he has my highest sympathy..i tried to comfort him, by being all macho with a cigarette on my hand and bit lentik on my fingers and crossing my legs, said "well, its for the kids, ur doing it for them, ur promising them a better life back there"..i looked at his face and it amazed me of how long it took for his eyedrop to reach his jaw, in other words, there were too much pumped skin on his cheek area. It was like a retention pond waiting to overflow to the next level. im evil. I know...
Things were quiet suddenly. He was exhaling deeply to comfort & relax himself. We both did our own thing. I then switch on the pathetic TV, that provides all sorts of channels, from free porn (sadly hetero porns with sexy ladies with huge tities and koreking their pussy's while chatting on the phone with low life losers who calls them from home for a TV to phone sex) to Korean cooking channels. It's a cable TV. They also have Gay TV, but the shows and clips are sooo not gay. Its more like watching MTV Rewind with Ketchup Song and Baywatch with Pamela Anderson's boobs at B cup. In other words, its OLD. Its sad. They have the latest Gay TV as well, but not within subscription. Pathetic.
I couldn't take it anymore. Watching TV is a torture here. Luckily I have the complete entire season of Will & Grace for my daily entertainment. It was a gift from Raha. Least I could laugh at gay jokes. Also, the Fashion Babylon Book given by Andre & Aziz. I have two copies now. One here with me, to read during berry, the other in KL house also for berry purposes..
Well, that's the life here at the moment…im just starting....