Saturday, June 24, 2006


It is not an easy task to find a true loved ones..from best frens, to finding a nice all takes pressure & loads of stress to ensure each individual in your life would make u happy..

But out of all the issues & problems encountered by me in the process, LIYING wud be the greatest turn off EVER..well, probably there wud be 2 categories, a small lie, & a BIG lie..

The current date that im with, is on its way to expiry (please read blog "expiry date" to understand of term). It was nice at the start..bit bumpy in the middle..then too much hidden agenda around..too much secrets unveiled..lalala..i then did my own personal investigation..

and only to know..he's attached..FBW...these kind of people shoud be thought a nasty lesson.bcoz they play around with your feelings..

when people are in love or too much attraction going on, u tend to forget & ignore the signs..i dunno about all of u out there..but im always blind..i thought i was smart, well, there others who are smarter...

The last love i had ended year 2005..till today, i've yet to find a replacement...bcoz its impossible to find a good one with chemistry ever flowing..someone that fits the shoe..

Someone that..
Would never cross my mind..bcoz he's always on my mind..

Someone that..

I never liked him ..because I loved him.
Someone that..
I don't want him ..because I needed him.
Someone that..
I wouldn't cry if he left.. because I would have died if he left.
Someone that..
I wouldn't live for him..because I would die for him.
Someone that..
I'm not willing to do anything for him ..because I would do everything for him.
Someone that..
I would chose my life..because he is my life.

Sounds impossible to some of you, but bare with me..

I got it once..

But i let him go..

Because then again..

He was a liar also..

Until today i still feel the same..

Even knowing the facts & to face the sorrow..

No matter how hurt it made me be..

But my love for him is still there tomorrow..

....When u get this feeling..u found love...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Expiry "Date"

I believe everyone experienced going out for dates, getting to know a person..nice dinner a movie..gigling and laughing at each others silly jokes, trying to touch each other but in an accidental manner..'whatever' and finally, if you're lucky, DESSERT for supper..

How long usually a person would take to know some1? How long wud the dating game shoud last? What if the person ur getting to know is so ready to have you as his or her companion, whilst ur not ready and still require time to get to know him or her? Have any of you experienced a 2 week period before expiration? It all ends up after 14 days..Its like a voice from the horror movie (I forgot what the title is), when u watch a videotape and u get a phone call, saying S.E.V.E.N D.A.Y.S...In this case..its F.O.R.T.E.E.N D.A.A.Y.S...

The person ur interested and seeing wud be the so called horror tape ur watching..and a voice wud appear in ur mind saying FORTEEN DAYS...Bloody hell..

People say that u wud only know the real true individual after 3 weeks of knowing each other..the first week is total bullshit..believe me people..Its all shitty love and trying hard to get you..With all the praises, butterflies in the stomach..well, its only natural..its part of being human i guess..

How wud u get to know such person when ur Expiration DATE only allows u 2 weeks? I assume most of you have been in a situation when, during dating times, everything is wonderful n colorful, but after you're a couple, give it 8 months, u see the true colors of him or her n figuring how to escape from the cage.

Lovable and truthful, filled with the attention u needed, caring and calls u 10 times a day, and out of sudden..Doors slowly shuts. Do u question, where is that wonderful person that i knew before? As i said before, the first 3 weeks is all drama people..Dun Trust Them..Take ur time and never allow others to push u..Take this example, they're starting to run after the 2nd day, ur still walking n taking ur time..They take ur hand and seek u to run together with them..DONT RUN WITH THEM! Your Prada heels or Gucci dress shoes are not made to run! If you do, what if u run full speed, and suddenly they stopped running? Not even jogging before they stop, like, stop STOP? Ur in full speed and u cant stop running..thats when ur in trouble..At the end, u'll be running alone..

Im not saying that every date wud turn out shitty like some of us experience. I envy my frens who have companions for years and still growing strong..they were meant to be together..some of us maybe take longer time to find ours..patience..never give up and believe that there's some1 out there for you and me..Never consume words coming from others thinking that ur just in for a ride, rebound, or just sleeping around..U know what u want..Thats important..

Take ur time..It wont hurt u that much if things dont work out..Ur still in the safe zone..To hell with them who rush you and thinks that you're the goddess they've been waiting for..coz first of all, neither of us are goddess..for gods sake! I know its nice and good to hear that from a stranger, but i wud prefer to hear that coming from frens who i've known for years..If they say ur a goddess..U ARE A GODDESS!! Its more sincere and u've known them all these years..

Be prepared..face the world..Its a shitty world out there..with the assholes surrounding careful..Hold on to your best buddies..they're the ones who wud stay with u longer than others..they are ur true companions..for l

Flash back....

hmm..its been a while since i wrote.well, i've been extremely bz.catching up datelines which i will never catch & never will i finish the said work.its a pathethic final accounts of several subcontractors, who even offered me duit raya if i were to speed up their accounts.It would definitely help me settle some bills..but then again, its unethical, or the proper phrase, its UNISLAMIC PEOPLE!!..for the fact that i studied in UIA..& work for Tabung Haji..what r the odds??My first lady boss is harrassing me of when will i settle them..Like i care?? Appraisal day was last week. I scored a 12 out of 14, & 14 is the minimum score.How can they evaluate me out of 3 months of me being here? whatever..

To my surprise, my previous dates called to keep intouch with me back..i thot it was just a friendly gesture, since after all, its ramadhan.Well, at some point, its not just keeping intouch, there were some weird moments. One of them was when, the word 'sayang', which the person used to call me when we were dating, came out accidentally, twice on the same day! When we were in the middle of a conversation..To express unsatisfactory of my statement..Instead of saying..whatever 'Ezwan' came out..whatever 'sayang' Hmm..Well, then i paused for a moment..Flashback of the times we had.It was sweet & nice to hear that particular word comin from someone..when someone really meant it..I know ur clapping ur hands Lee.Adly is so encouraging me, and stop it! But again..its an expiry date remember?It expired already..Just left the remainings that no longer good for me..But that wouldn't stop me from still looking at it once in a while would it?I dun think rotten food could be recooked again..could it? well..i dunno..Again..its not all that rotten i think..hmm..probably like when ur food spilled out frm ur plate onto the table.U either leave it there or u scoop it up back into ur plate..Ok tak?

I was so stress with work & also some things on my mind previously..I even skipped puasa, not for food, but for a dose of nicotine..I haven't been a good boy this ramadhan..To my surprise, ramadhan is comin to its end already..I used to recite the Holy Quran every year, everyday of the ramadhan month.But i didnt do it this year.Thats weird of me.Im not all that goodie, but since Satan are all tied up, it does give a big impact on my daily routine, i tend to be better usually.Hmm..

My ex from Taiping, S, also called to wish selamat hari raya..I haven't heard since 3 years first love...distance kept us apart...but understood me best..our birthdays are just 1 day apart.Previously, on our birthdays, when it strikes midnite, one special day ends for someone, one special day begins for someone.. It was really nice..I always wanted to meet up, but S always made reasons not to, for the past 4 years.Distance, work & etc..But the truth, it was more on feelings & emotions..Its just hurting when the feeling starts to get attached again when we see each other, but more on S part..But then, to my suprise, after the phone call, S wants to come down KL!! But to my surprise, why this year? why not last year? or the year before that? Anyway,told Wanie about it. Wanie & Hedy was all excited to get to see the package of 'see no touch or u get canning from ezwan' product from Taiping..It is a drooling view to look at..hehe..Im all excited as the same time..worried. S is full of surprises..Said got a big news to break..Im wondering what would that be..Marriage? Moving to KL? Promoted? I wouldn't want to think about it now..

Anyhow, thats all for now..

BIMBO Moment

Well, its been so long since the last time i wrote here..I've been extremely busy with work. As if there r people out there that read my blog religiously, like its that interesting.anyhow, whatever..

Im here to share of what Aziz, Lee, Neyna & Syook call BIMBO Moment.I believe everybody has experience this before, but it all depends on the level of extreme bimboness ur born with. im here to share mine.

Bimbo Moment no.1:

I was in a meeting with subcontractors several months back with my second boss together in the meeting room. We were arguing issues about claims & out of sudden, my boss said;

"Ezwan, pegi amik specs atas meja"

I got off my chair, and went to his cubicle to get the 'specs' he required. I then took his specticles, went back in the meeting room and with full politeness, handed over his glasses thinking that he needed it to read. He wears contacts at times though.When i handed his glasses, he's faced changed & said;

"Lah..aku nak Specification (short term for it is call SPECS) bukan cermin mata aku!" All cosntruction people shud know this term as its widely used like the word 'Me'.

The whole room burst with laughter & i was so embarrased that it felt like i was walking with my undies around them..only gawd knows what it felt like..But then, u cant blame me for it rite? he did say 'specs' which my brains responded to spectacles and not specifications due to a brain memory function that responds faster on fashion products rather than intellectual i sad or what..

Bimbo Moment 2:

I was in a meeting room discussing about our tender agreement with our partners. I was suppose to chair the meeting bcoz my second boss is away for haj. I managed to do it halfway & just couldnt believe what im saying to this strangers who's interested in a project that i single handedly managed the calculation & that i wud say, a bit nonsense here & there. well, contractors do cheat u know. anyhow, thats not the issue. Then later my General Manager came in to the rescue and took over on explaining the real stuff. Our partners made copies of their calculation and specifically said to me earlier;

"Thats your copy, we have ours"

After discussion ends, the copy of the calculation is still in my GM hands.He then sat down resting his back on the chair in a very relaxed manner, put the calculation on the table in a distance of 65cm(im actually measuring this on my table now to be precise) next to me while his hand on his head and said;

"Wan,gi buat kopi"

I then went all huh? But to maintain intelligence & poist, i stood up, took the calculation and went straight out the meeting room in blurrness..

Now, let me tell u the scenario around here during that particular moment.

1) The makcik buat kopi is off today i dunno why. gi interview agaknya..

2) The partners did say that the particular calculation is our copy.

Now, does he want me to make kopi(as in coffee, but he said it like 'kopi')?since the tea lady is on leave today & we've been discussing for so long that i cud see some of us are sleepy.

Or..Does he want me to make copy(as in the calculation copy which is irrelevant bcoz we already have one)

I was all huh?? I went over to my mates cubicle and seek their advice on what he really wanted. They were also blurr and both demands cud be true. I went..hmm..

Not wanting to get the second Bimbo Moment, i dared myself to go to him in the meeting room to seek conformation.

"Sir, u wanted me to make kopi?(using my fingers in a stirring motion) or u wanted me to make copy?(pointing the calculations i held in my hand). I cud felt my blood rushing towards my head when his faced turned bit unfortunate and manage to grab a 17 pages of A4 sized paper infront of him and sort of threw it to my well ironed shirt hitting my chest! He then said;

"Copy lah! Photocopy! Nak suruh buat kopi apahal??"

He said it anger but i cud see, AGAIN, sarcastic gigles around me coming from the partners and it reminded me again of the previous situation faced(pls refer Bimbo Moment 1) & thinking that i was so...BIMBO..

I couldnt help it but to dash out of the meeting room & to my surprise, i wasnt embarrased, but i laughed my way out & had my ultimate laughter at the photocopier room. But my hands were shaking when i made the copies. I then took the copies & went back into the meeting room, put it infront of him, and faced down the whole time. Not wanting to look at the partners face that wud just make me...Laugh out loud!

He then said "Apa lah kau ni.." But his face was so angry. I thot that he felt I embarrased him or was fooling around with him infront of the partners..more like..not respecting him..but that wasnt my was all ME..and my BIMBO Moment..
To others, please be careful when u experience such scenario, especially when it involves ur future. there's no warning to it & any type of response from parties at present may cause worse memory damage to ur brains due to the giggles & laughter & also ur self other words, it gets worse after a cud repeat again..and u'll never know when it struck you...s..c..a..r...r..y...

The face of "Stopping Traffic"

Do u know when people say "Stopping Traffic"? when a billboard or a poster with a fabulously sexy pose along the highway and drivers tend to slow down to take a peek of it? Like the sexy Calvin Klien add or the Victoria Secret.well,thats what im goin to share with people here today, but mine is pathetic.

Was suppose to collect documents at a clients office today, so i thot to wake up a bit late & go from home.left the house at 10am, head for Sg Buloh and to my surprise, it was hell of bunch of documents & drawings. got the client to sign "received" on the office letter for the huge amount of check that i passed to him, afraid that office might think i songlap the money or something like that took me a while to get into the car, my hands were full with the dictionary thick like documents & multiple rolls of drawings. after i manage, head str8 back to the office.

i parked my car opposite the office tower at a futsal area(coz parking in the building is ridiculously expensive & only perdana cars & above park in there). thinking how the hell am i going to carry all these documents & drawings. i said to myself "be smart & u can manage them all the way up to the office. i held on left hand the drawings which is outrageously heavy, on rite hand the overly thick tender documents & also, in a clear folder, the letter signed by the client "received check". it was also suppose to be proof that i was out from the office to collect those stuff & not out merewang, like i always do meeting lah, gi bank lah..go site office lah..instead i was at Factory Outlet Bkt Bintang finding bargain & discounted office or casual shirt that looked like a $500 designer shirt.anyway, thats not the point..

as i manage to held all the papers in both my hands, i had to cross the bz road.road seemed clear, wind was blowing strong ...THEN! the signed "received" paper got BLOWN AWAY!! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOODY ROAD! the wind kept on blowing. i was extremely shocked & the first thing on my mind was "They're gonna know that i skipped work today!.thats my only proof that im a good employee!!" i then with full confidence place all papers held in hand by the side of the road kerb, and to my daring action (i cudnt think on anything else as i was so afraid of getting bash from my GM of not presenting that piece of paper), i crossed the road and STOPPED the traffic! FYI, there are 2 pieces of paper, one is on my side of the traffic, the other was ON THE OTHER SIDE!

first i had to stop my side, all the motorist stop, embarrasingly i bend down & pickup the paper while one hand was still on air hoping that they wudnt run over me.THEN, i stopped the other side traffic to pick up the other piece! basically, i STOPPED BOTH TRAFFIC! god knows how i felt & the things i would do for my career. i cud sense several motorist were giggling at me & i didnt look at them at all cause i felt so silly & nothing compared to this kind of embarrasment. this is not stopping traffic cause u look gorgeous on a billboard, its stopping traffic cause ur..dumb.

p/s: those who were at the crime scene, please forgive me for stopping ur journey a mere 4 just speechless..