Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Lesbians nite out..

I had a dreadful time the whole of last week. Was down with fever, flu, & throat killing sore throat. It felt like I had to swallow a little kitten down my throat every 5 minutes. It was just extremely painful. One of the causes is that, I didn't remove my tonsils advised by the doctor last year cause it was just scary and the way he described the procedure, laser down my throat, I then decided to withdraw the surgery & just live with it, which in return, led to the extreme pain whenever I have sore throat.

Saturday nite was suddenly all jolly, eventho I was all sick, the whole gang wanted to have an outing and decided to go clubbing at LaQueen. I refused to go thinking that it would worsen my condition as I was about to recover. Hedy was begging me and told me that the whole gang are up for it, which is a very rare occasion to have everyone going down to the club altogether. With much annoyance & sympathy for them but not me with my sick condition & for the sake of grouping spirit, I decided to go. Just to ensure I'll be having a jolly good time & practicing 'the more the meriah" concept, I texted Andre to see weather he & gang are up for it, but no reply. Well, then we made a move.

As we reached LaQueen, I decided one of us should go up first to check out the crowd in order not to disappoint ourselves with crowd only both hands could count & save RM35 per head. There were 8 of us. I had a blast the week before ramadhan begun when I was there, but again, you'll never know.

They all decided that I should be the person to go up to check the crowd cause I know more people than they do. Its ridiculous! I had to spare RM35 to check the crowd & if its pathetic, im the one to bear the cost?? I argued my way and decided to split the cost if the crowd is awful. Everyone agreed.

As I got up the stairs and cud hear the loud music pumping and vibrating the staircase, I couldn't wait to check out the crowd. As I landed my foot on the final step, I overlooked & could see a whole lot of people on the dance floor & wud bravely say, it's a hip crowd. I went down again, whistled everyone like a mamasan calling all the anak ayam & gave them thumbs up! They all started to queue for the entry of RM35 hoping to dance their brains out & enjoy the crowd that I recommended quality & hip. I waited for everyone done paying by the staircase and we all got up together like a bunch of mean girls waiting to enter the crowd and pushing others who wud be in our red carpet like moment.

As we head closer to the dance floor, suddenly it struck most us that the people we were surrounded by happen to be shorter than all of us. Not only they were shorter, they were also in shorts! Some of them. Not only shorter and shorts, they're hair was also short. I then looked and glanced around me for further investigation of the crowd and realized, WE WERE SURROUNDED BY LESBIANS!! Aaarrgghhh!! We want no Boy "Lady's" we want people like us, Lady "Boys"!! Well, we're not lady boys as in maknyah, what I meant is boy like boy..not girl like girl..aarrgghh.. Everyone was furious at me and blamed it all on me for not taking a closer look at the crowd and wasted their RM35 that could be spent on t-shirt at sungai wang rather than on a lesbian party! Why am I to be blamed?? It was so unfair after I was being dragged to the scene without my inner sincere sick self of wanting to go in the first place.

As we all looked and stared at the crowd & trying to scout at least 1 gay men in the room, suddenly I got a tap on my shoulder, it was Zaid, Shamel & 4 other entourage who just arrived. To their surprise as like we did with Zaid busy touching & ensuring his assumed 3 hour made up hair with every strand still intact at its suppose coordinates, whispering to each other like little girls like soseh..soseh..soseh..which meant "why are there a whole bunch of lessies here that we don't know about??

Well, since we paid a whole lot money and considering that there were almost 15 of us altogether merged into one group, we enjoyed the nite together. Then suddenly, I got another tapping on the shoulder. Thinking it must be another 'sister' in crime of mine, I turned around. I couldn't see anyone at the same eye level. Then I had to tilt my head down only to find that it was the little butch lady from my office canteen yang jual air!! Oh my gaaawdd…

She was all friendly and said "tak sangka kita sama ye?" I then responded "sama ke, tak sama pun? I was referring to her manliness and the boots she was wearing with that baggy jeans & white shirt all nicely tucked in that was beyond manhood, and imagining she even grew armpit hair & shave her legs to grow even more hair whereas I shave my arms only to find it disgusting having even a slight of hair there & even trimmed my legs to have a smooth straight & presentable looking legs unlike other straight men who's legs are just covered with forest of curly eeeky looking hair that cud lead to an ant lost if it ends up on either the leg. She then responded "memang tak sama, tapi sama satu bidang lah camtu.." In translation what she meant was I own and eat spongy pussy and you own and suck cock.. I then giggled like a little girl with my hands up my mouth ala malu-malu camtu and to somewhat agreed to her statement "Ye lah kot..sama tapi tak serupa" whatever. I continued to ask her "Girlfren mana?" She responded "Ada kat depan tu, boyfren u mana?" The statement went thru my ears and down thru the nerve systems and trying to go thru my medulla oblongata to process it as a question, and to respond it with an answer. I experience a little "down" syndrome out of sudden due to the insufficient memory space left in my left brain because of too much hurtful experience all spaced up in there with no other memories left to be stored and a statement came out from my mouth after my brains processed the answer that lead me to no choice but to say "I takde boyfren lah.."

Her face changed with her messy unplucked eyebrows frowning. She responded "ye ker..takkan hensem2 macam ni takde orang nak?" I then responded "You hensem lagi, senang dapat awek beb, gua tak hensem cam luu.." I had to end this conversation soon as I realize I began to talk like a dike. Its bad for me. I then tapped her on the shoulder at a 120 degree angle cause she was too short for it to be less than 90 degrees and said "Oklah, I pegi ngan kawan-kawan I dulu ok?enjoy ya?" and quickly fled.

We did have a jolly good time eventhough I was all sick. Well, the next morning when I got up, my flu & cough worsen to what malay call 'Berembun" or staying up all nite. I then thout about last nites outing and realized that..

"Takde jantan sejantan Pengkid, takde perempuan seperempuan pondan"..agreed?